When Did Yu Go Gay?
by FearIsButFearItself
Summary: Spoilers for chapter 198! Lavi sees the light after he teases Kanda a bit to much about the new cannon pairing, Yuma. Now, how does Lavi tease Kanda to much and see the light? What does the rest of the order do? Well, only one way to find out! R&R!


Fibfi-Chan: We don't own D. Gray-Man, if we did it would be a really suckish novel series.

Deke: Boo….

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**When Did Yu Go Gay?**

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Kanda thought that today would be a normal day, that everything would be fine, and that things would go back to normal after the North American Branch thing, but he was wrong. Dead wrong.

"YUUUUU!" An annoying and loud voice yelled, as if they were trying to burst his ear drums. If they were, they were doing a pretty good job with it. Lavi ran up to Kanda, panting and catching his breath, while Kanda just stared at him with a 'Wtf is wrong with you' expression. Lavi looked up and excitedly said "Yu, I heard something from Renne Epstine that I want to confirm with you. Is that alright?" Well, what ever he wanted, it couldn't be that bad…right?

"Yeah, sure….whatever…." Lavi grinned as he took in a deep breath and said "Well, Renne said that before the Second Exorcist project, that you and Alma Karma were lovers, and that you two had kids together. Is it true?" With every word that Lavi was saying, Kanda's eyes were just getting wider and wider. It was quite funny, really… "And if so Yu-Chan, WHEN DID YOU GO GAY?"

Kanda froze and his eyes went dark and distant as the last words echoed in Kanda's head...When did you go gay? When did you go gay? When did you go gay…? When did you go gay…..? When did you go gay… The words faded out as Kanda went all samurai and angry. Never make Kanda go all samurai and angry. You will regret it. Like, really regret it. Like, 'teasing a tiger then having it escape from its cage and kill you' regret it.

Lavi was doubled over laughing, as Kanda took slow steps toward him, looking dark, and scary, and…well…evil! "Hahahahah..hah…..hah…..hahah…Hey, Yu-Chan? Why do you have that dark evil and scary look in your eyes? And why are you holding your sword like your about to kill me? And why're you slowly walking towards me? A-and why're you muttering evil things so they're barley audible….? Y-y-yu-Chan…..? Yu-Chan? EEEEEEKKKKK!"

As Lavi was talking, his voice was becoming more and more high pitched because Kanda was scaring him. And, lets just say, that's not the best way to attempt to keep your life from a homicidal samurai. It's actually one of the worst….wow. Poor Lavi must REALLY want a good spot on Kanda's death list, because I belive that he just reached the top. And that's an accomplishment that only the makers of rap music could earn. Because they annoy him that much. That is why you don't say anything with the word 'rap' in it around Kanda. Because he would, no WILL, go all homicidal and crazy, and INSANE! And you will die. Like, instantly. I guaranty it. No doubt there.

Anyway, were was I? Oh, right, were Lavi was just about to be cut up into sushi and covered in wasabi. And that's not good. Because Lavi hates wasabi. At least, that's what I read from some random fanfic…..anyway, it was, like, 5:00am and Lavi's shriek, a very manly shriek, mind you! *cough*not*cough* woke everyone, and yes, I mean EVERYONE in the B.O. up. Hahah…B.O….like, body odor….hahah…that's funny….ANYWAY lots of people ran to the scene, and saw Kanda beating Lavi to a bloody pulp, then dragging the poor soul to the window, and tossed him out of it, causing an uproar from the audience. After falling for a few seconds everyone heard Lavi faintly shout "DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU TWO ARE CANNON NOW? THEY CALL IT 'YUMA'!" When Lavi's faint shout reached Kanda's ears, he froze, and when everyone else heard it, all hell broke loose as everyone (except Kanda) was lost in utter confusion, and small murmurs were muttered to one another like; "Yuma? What's that?" "What's 'cannon'?" "Is it just me, or does Kanda look like he's going to blow up the universe, and then blow us all up in the afterlife?"

and then, a huge shock to everyone, Kanda yelled at the top of his lungs, which was VERRY loud! "DAMN YOU BAKA USAGAI! IM GONNA EFFIN KILL YOU, REVIVE YOU, KILL YOU AGAIN, AND REPEAT IT ONE MILLION FUCKIN TIMES!" And with that, Kanda jumped out the window, and in a few super long seconds, they heard Lavi begging for mercy, crying, and they heard the sound of bones cracking…..poor Lavi…. Everyone that was crowded around the window, aka everyone in the Black Order, slowly backed away, scared to death, never before seeing Kanda this pissed, and after listening to Lavi's screams for a few more seconds and sharing uncertain glances, they all ran down all the halls and stair cases, making their way to the currently being murdered Lavi, and the currently killing poor innocent Lavi, Kanda.

Now, down at Lavi's soon to be death bed…. "YUUUU! HOW LONG WERE YOU A FATHER? I NEVER THOUGHT THAT YOU WOULD LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY! LIKE, EVER! ESPECIALY TO A CHICK! HOW WAS IT HAVING SEX WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU HAD A 'THING' WITH UNTIL, LIKE, LAST WEEK, OR SOMETHING? OOOWWWWIIIIEEEEE! IT HURTS!" Lavi screamed in pain, as Kanda punched his stomach and slammed his head into a tree, with, like, a lot of force.

Now, inside with the rest of the B.O. They ran down the stairs at top speed! They were coming Lavi! You'll be saved! In like five hours when they finally got down the first really really really really really really really really really really REALLY really really really long staircase! As you can most likely tell….it's a long staircase. Now, back to the practically dead Lavi, and crazy Kanda.

"YU! HOW DID ALMA GET TURNED INTO A GUY IF HE WAS A CHICK BEFORE? DOES THAT MEAN YOUR GAY? I DON'T KNOW HOW, BUT I THINK IT DOES! OH DEAR GOD, NO! DON'T CUT ME THERE! NOT MY MAN HOOD! NOT WHERE THE SUN DOESN'T SHINE! NOT WHERE THE CHICKS LOVE! NOT THERE! ALMOST ANYWHERE BUT THERE! ALMOST ANYWHERE! JUST NOT MY FACE! OH NO, YOUR GOING FOR THE FACE! NOOOOOO!" Lavi was rolling around on the ground in hysterics, as Kanda just stared at him with a sweat drop and a dead panned expression.

"NOOOOO! SPARE ME LORD OF ALL THINGS THAT RESEMBLE A SWORD AND ARE A SWORD! PLEASE!" At this, Kanda face palmed, now fully embarrassed to even know the guy. Kanda sat down on the ground beside the crying mess, pulled out his book, 'Alice In Wonder Land' and began to read. About five hours later, the B.O. got to the scene and saw Lavi floating facedown in the river, apparently dead, and they all chased after him, while Kanda just sat there innocently reading his book.

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Fibfi-Chan: Wow…this sorta sucked…it's just based on the new cannon pairing though, yaknow, Yuma. Aka, Kanda and Alma.

Deke: If ya didn't read chapter 198 ya wont really get it. Just ask n we'll give ya the Chinese raws link….I don't think it's translated in English yet.

Blank: Alright, well, here's a little update. Our laptop broke, and we lost all our progress on our storys, and a few new ones, so we're gonna have ta rewrite them. And we're only posting this since we're using Fibfi-Chan's brothers laptop. So, don't expect super fast updates. Sorry.

Deke: Yeahh…anyways review please, it will inspire us to hack into the laptop and update more.

Fibfi-Chan: Yes, reviews make us happy.


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